Love or something like it
These relationships are tricky. Not just the boyfriend ones, all of them. And you know what I mean when I say tricky.. they lure you, fascinate you, take over you and then leave you. I know this happens, and I know when and how it happens too. But why cant I stop it then ?
We were best friends. He knew everything about me. My past, my ugly past. And my secrets, even how my mind works. I knew the same. I couldn’t wait for my phone to ring when I got home from school. Hear his voice telling me how his day was, and what we had planned ahead. I would keep the phone and his voice would still ring in my head. But we were best buds. Then he had to go mess this up. I said no, my friendship meant too much to me. If I agree, and then the glass shatters, it would all be gone. I am just having a told myself moment right now. So, a few months later, I agreed. It was my idea. It seemed right. It wasn’t really different. That day, that colourful day when I was wearing white, changed everything. And no matter how much I tried to distract myself, my eyes kept going back to him. Looking for him in the crowd, watching the way he talks, moves his hands, his eyebrows- how they’d jump.. then he would come closer in my direction and I’d look away, pretending I didn’t know where he was. He’d put his hand on my waist and say hey. That hey would get me. I was his.
After he’d leave, I would smell of him, god I loved that smell. He would always have tissues to wipe my face with when I had my sub’s messy. When we heald hands and he’d rubbed my thub with his, I could feel the lines on his fingers. He was mine. It all seemed perfect and thats when we made a mistake. I cant say I know what love is, I dont. The hell I’m just 15. But I loved him J
Like all good things come to an end, so did this. Again I say, the magic of first love is the ignorance that it will never end. Good weighed more than the bad, then it weighed equal and then weighed less. That is the fastest weight loss I have ever seen. So we decided to call it quits. But it was still all good. We were still friends and still knew everything going on in each others lives.
He won. I lost. But he cheated and won. He had a better replacement and I had none. All the insecurities in the world surrounded me when I thought of him. He made life miserable. He had his slot filled and I had a vacancy. So I decided to move on! And I did. I thought I did. Till I saw them together and my legs lost energy. I had to sit so I ran towards the bathroom and everything went silent, I could hear my breathe as I ran towards the bathroom. I’m a weeper, but I pulled it together. I was not ready to let him win again!
Relationships are tricky. Whenever we feel like talking to someones, despite having replacements, we call them. Find soloutions with them and cry with them. Saying I’m scared and I dont know what to do fits in just right. When we need help, despite winning or losing we call them. Tricky, I’m telling you. And the best times are when you reach that place and tell them they suck as a kisser or that they have eyes to die for, you know your in deep shit. So have I moved on ? Yes, but really, no. No one ever can. So let us live in the moment and say what we need to say. For those ties and those times we share together can never be forgotten and no matter how hard you try to move on, they hold you down like gravity.
I'm 16 and I live in India. I am currently learning economics and psychology. Article Source:http://www.articlesbase.com/writing-articles/love-or-something-like-it-1589512.html
